I have no idea what i'm doing
[[I'm looking->Search]]Maybe i'll learn by dabbling like our king Jazza
[[Keep trying->Dabbling]]Dabbling around, testing things, trying to exist.
Trying to continue, to keep going, through small tasks, small things you want to believe matters.
[[But it does->It does]]
[[But it does not->Does it]]But does it truly matter, what we do ? What we try to do ? Our existence, our everything, will it change something ?
Should we even want to change something ?
Life is short and futile. Whatever we do will end with humanity.
We tend to think humanity is endless but we are fools.
Who will remember Mozart or Shakespear once humanity is gone ?
You can't last forever, because there will come a time where no one will be left to remember.
[[If nothing matters... Why care ?->Nothing does then everything does]]But how could it not matter ?
People change things everyday, every seconds. For the better or the worse everyone has an impact on everything.
When you make any decisions, how you dress, if you smile to someone or not, it will have an impact, whether you realize it or not.
You will do things you deem insignificant but will change someone's life.
[[That's scary.->Scary]]Isn't it terrifying ? Thinking all you do as an impact.
How can you not overthink everything ? Every look, every move. If everything matters, then you have to be careful with everything.
Because every wrong decisions could lead to someone's death.
But you would never know.
You would never know.
[[I want to know->Help]]
(if:visits is 2)[Are you afraid ? Afraid that you should have looked longer ? Thought about it longer ? Is it possessing your thoughts ? I would be afraid.]
(if:visits is 3)[Is it fear now or is it curiosity ? Have we changed our way now ? Did this text turn into curiosity rather than fear ? Is it a good thing, a bad one ? Who knows.]
(if:visits is 5)[You tried again and nothing happened. And yet, you tried yet again. What does that say about you ? Are you determined, perseverant ? I'm curious how much.]
(if:visits is 10)[Perseverant it is. Tell me, do you read the upper apart again each time, or do you simply hungrily look for a new text like this one ? A new thing, to consume, to take, regardless of what already exist. Is it humanity's need for discovery ? Or our learned need of consumption of new medias to avoid thinking about our decaying world ?]
(if:visits is 15)[You want to know where this goes, don't you ? So do I. I wonder how long it has been. Did you check the other paths ? Are you obsessed with this one like I am right now ? Writing all of these texts, one after the others like a madman, continuing, endlessly, testing, trying, thinking. Does this text make you think ? Do you like it ? You must, if you continued for so long.]
(if:visits >= 17)[I'm so tired.]
(if:visits >= 50)[So are you.]Do you want to know ?
Want to know the lives you took ?
The deaths you caused ?
Do you want to know if you caused endless joy or only misery ? It depends of the person I suppose. If misery was your purpose, then you must be quite pleased.
[[I don't care.->Not caring]]
(if:visits >= 49)[[[Let's go back->Lost in the woods]]]You do not ? Of the deaths, the sadness, the worlds you destroyed ?
Every person is a world, you broke down consciously or not.
Not caring if you killed...
Can I even call you human ?
Maybe you should go see a therapist.I suppose you're right. If nothing matters, then everything does.
If humanity will disappear and our memory with it, then why focus on that ?
Why focus on the lasting footprint we'll leave in history ?
Nothing's eternal. An immortal will end someday, so will the universe.
Does the universe have an end ? Is it round like a ball, technically endless and yet filled with limitations ?
Can we fall off the universe ?
[[How should I know ?->Black hole]]If we can, then were the vikings truly in the wrong. Are the Flat earthers truly in the wrong ? Maybe they don't see big enough.
Stop pretending the Earth is flat, we know it's not.
But the universe ? Who knows.
All we have is theory.
What would it look in a black hole ? Maybe that's what the border of the universe looks like.
[[I'm confused, where is this going ?->Does it have to go somewhere]]
[[Maybe it is->Blackholes]]Does it have to go somewhere ?
Can't you just kick back and read some relaxing random thoughts ?
A bit of poetry can't hurt.
Bigger thinking without bigger words. How nice is that ?
I can use big words if you want. Words no one understands.
Words made so only a selected few can understand.
Is it gatekeeping in the end ?
[[I don't care I want to play a game->Well fuck off then]]I don't know what you expected going into this.
Fuck off then I guess.
(after:3s)[I'd recommend playing Undertale if you like multiple choices games.]
(after:5s)[[[Let's go back->Lost in the woods]]]How beautiful would it be, that the end is not a straight line, but a donut.
Like a blackhole.
There's no distinct borders to the universe, only donuts then and there.
Making it not endless, and yet infinite anyway.
[[I'm hungry now->Donut]]Do you prefer your donuts with feelings or without ?
[[Pretty sure you meant "fillings"->did i stutter]]
[[Without feelings->Without]]''Did I stutter.''
[[Nevermind...->Donut]]Do you like the thought of biting into a living, feeling creatures ?
Hearing it's scream as you take life out of them ?
Is it worth it ?
Do you like hurting, killing these poor donuts ?
[[Jesus Christ that is definitely not what I meant.->Nevermind then]]
[[I don't care.->Not caring]]I suppose it is easier to eat a donut when it's not alive.
Not scratching your face in despair of survival.
While it knows.
[[Why does it sound like you talk from experience ?->I have been a donut]]
[[You're freaking me out->lmfao]]What did you mean then ?
[[I just assumed you mystiped "fillings" and was too embarassed to admit it !->did i stutter]]
[[There's not enough choices for me to tell.->Test]]I guess it's not really a dialogue.
Just me talking to myself.
And you, exploring my thought process this way.
(after:3s)[Are you even really here ? Really important ? Maybe this will never gets played.
Does it matter ?
Is this only for me ?
Do you truly have any input to give ?
[[I do->you do ?]]
[[Probably not.->You don't]]]I was a donut once.
[[What the fuck->Lost in the woods]]Have you tried any of the other routes ?
Have you explored what I made outside of this ?
If this freaks you out, I'm praying for your soul in this messed up world.
[[Thanks...?->Next]](after:5s)[[[Hello... ?->There]]](after:3s)[[[Is anyone there ?->Is]]](after:2s)[[[Did you left ?->Nothing]]](after:1s)[[[Am I alone ?->Left]]][[...->To]][[I don't know what to do now.->lose]][[Did you even really left if all this text is something you wrote ?->I]][[If I had more choices, maybe I would truly feel alone.->Have to]][[Oh ! You're listening !->Suppose]]
[[Or am I the one in power now ?->Guess]][[Does that change anything ? Why won't you talk to me directly ?->That]][[If I am in power of this now, then I am alone.->That]][[...->It]][[It doesn't change much in the end I suppose.->Doesn't]][[That's enough.->Lost in the woods]]How so ? Tell me, if I ask you something that only you can answer, how will you tell me ?
If I ask you what was the name of your childhood bestfriend ?
Will there be any options that will allow you to tell me ?
[[You could make one.->Could I ?]]
[[I wouldn't tell you anyway !->Not the point]]I write every choices, every decision, every route.
You can't really control anything.
You're just walking on a path I paved I suppose.
Is it scary ?
[[No, it's interesting.->Interest]]
[[I don't know.->Lost]]Could I really ? Do you expect me to list here every name in existence ?
I have a ton of homework to do, I'm mostly just dabbling here, are you insane ?
I would die before I get them all.
[[No you idiot, in the code.->What]]That's not the point. Whether you want to or not, you can't.
[[Why would you want to know that ? Creep.->are you stupid]]I don't know how to code that. Why the hell do you think I use Twine ?
I don't know how to code.
I do have a code workshop next week tho.
Not sure this has anything to do with anything.
[[Just use a variable->look]]Are you a fucking idiot.
I'm telling you ''that's not the point.''
I was just providing an example.
[[Oh so you're going to ask me for what next ? My credit card number ???->uh]]
[[Don't you dare call me an idiot ! Incredible, you're being rude and then you insult ME ?!->uh]]Okay Boomer.Look I just started this for funsies mate. I did learn a bunch of stuff but each time was a pain in my butt.
Plus I don't even want to know your bestfriend's name, that's your business.
[[But you were talking about me not having an input ? That would give me an input.->Yeah but]]Yeah but now I'm wrong and I don't like it.
Also I don't want that to transform into work.
Good day ;P
[[Cringe->Lost in the woods]]
[[??? So I don't have an input then ???->Meh]]Maybe you do but I don't care for it tho lol
[[Rude.->Lost in the woods]]Is this really a story I'm making in the end ?
Or just a psychological warfare ?
An exploration ?
If it sparked your interest, then I'm glad.
What did you like about it ?
[[I like how it started as a weird test thing and ended up with many possibilities and kind of a story I guess ?->A story ? here ?]]
[[I didn't really like any of it.->mmh]]
(if:(history: where its name contains "Scary")'s length >= 17)[[[I really liked the one about being Afraid. All the coming back and forth was nice !->Scare is good]]]
(if:(history: where its name contains "Donut")'s length >= 1)[[[The donut part was really weird. But kind of funny.->Donut good]]]
(if:(history: where its name contains "Doesn't")'s length >= 1)[[[The part where I was alone was good !->Doesn't good]]]
(if:(history: where its name contains "Well fuck off then")'s length >= 1)[[[I played Undertale following your instruction ! Fun game, loved it.->Undertale is good]]]
(if:(history: where its name contains "I have been a donut")'s length >= 1)[[[Hey can I ask about this part where you said you were a donut ?->You cannot]]]I suppose I don't know either.You'd be surprised how much of a pain in my ass this bit was.
But I love it, so it was worth it.
I'm glad you like it !I have a weird train of thoughts, yeah.
Glad you liked it tho !Were you... truly alone ?A what ?? A story ? Did I... Did I truly make one ?
Do you believe so ?
Does that mean I've finished a project ?
Will my parents finally be proud of me ?!
(after:5s)[Mh. This got really personal real fast. Ignore everything I said here.]I'm glad you liked it ! I'm surprised to see you here again tho.
Maybe after playing Undertale you wanted to read someone that liked it as well ?
I don't know.
(after:3s)[I'm sure your favourite character was either Sans or Papyrus.
You sound basic.]
(after:5s)[I said that with love of course <3]If you didn't like any of it, why did you go so far in ?
If all you have to do is read/play something you hate, mate you need a hobby.
Is it to have context about what you hate ? To bitch about it afterwards ?
Well that's not very nice mister.
[[Ugh...->contacts]]I don't think you want to hear about the horror this was.
[[I do !->Donut story]]
[[Yeah probably not.->Interest]]I was young.
8, maybe 10 years old.
It was a winter night, cold for me and my parents. Fuel costed a lot, and we were used to living in a cold house in winter.
Per usual, I had 3 covers on me to keep me warm. But that evening, Mom had served the most hideous and revulsing plate, and I hadn't eaten much.
So here I was, at 10 years old (maybe 8), starving in my warm blankets.
It was around 2 AM and I couldn't sleep. I was just so hungry. I didn't want to move, either, because I knew that outside the bed was cold.
I remember, distinctly, something move in the corner of my eyes. I look and yes. You guessed it. In my room, at 2 AM in the morning, stood a fucking donut.
Now remember. I am young, sleep-deprived and starving. My brain is not working. I didn't scream, didn't jerk back. I leaned in, grabbed the poor confused donut, and I ate them.
I remember the screams of fear, the way they were trying to get released of my grasp. I remember eating the arms, first. Then the legs. The belly. It was around the eyes that the screams stopped. I finished it, and I went to sleep.
The next morning, I thought I had dreamed. But when I got up, crumbs fell of my pyjamas.
[[What the actual fuck did I just read->contacts]]Well ! You got this far, and you deserve a reward nonetheless.
Here are all my links to my social medias !
Deal with it love <3